Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Coordinating

Yesterday I was in the studio from 11am to 11pm getting the pieces ready for the kiln. Hopefully they will be ready on Wed evening. No photos....my camera needs new batteries. But tomorrow will have lots of photos of the new work. Right now it is cooking away....

I will be in another show in Mount Holly next week..for this one I have to provide the shelving and display tools, etc....which is a bit more demanding...packing up everything, pricing it and recording it on sheets, dropping off the stuff, setting it up....picking it up later. Lots of sweat going in....I am not convinced this is the avenue for me to get work out to the world....I like the idea of online options better.

Having to coordinate schedules with others, since I need help packing the stuff into the car, unloading the shelving units and assembling them...etc etc. I feel so vulnerable when I have to depend on others....it is one of my personal challenges using a wheelchair. I have to ask for help. No way around it , or not do certain things. But I want to do it and I want to do it myself. Arggh frustrates me. If I were walking still it would probably not be a big deal...but it seems to be my lesson. Keeps coming back for me to wrestle with it. I think I have it mastered, then I am tested, or pushed further...so here we go a little bit further into my discomfort zone...

Oh and last night was another test. Since I again took so long to glaze my stuff, Julie could not help me load the kiln last night. So she did it this morning without me. So it is getting done. But I could not help but think, if I could load the kiln by myself, it would not matter when I finished....I would just do it then. I just feel a loss of choice, flexibility. It pushes up against me,,,,nudges me and irks me just enough. Time and time again. I wonder when it won't bother me anymore?

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