Monday, December 10, 2007

I am so lucky as Sunday was a day spent at the studio for a full 5.5 hours. It was so nice to be in the space and energy of the place. And while Sundays are nomally pretty quiet, yesterday was different with many potters getting gifts ready for Christmas, so it was fun to connect again with this favorite community.

I find the time a place and space to process. Feelings maybe I was not fully tuned in with or aware of, come to the surface. Good, bad, sad, mad...the whole shebang. So I am sitting listening to my iPod and focusing on cutting the surface I am working on, and next thing I know I am crying. Suddenly sad-- where does it come from? I am always so taken aback by these moments. Anyway, yesterday I was missing my brother. His birthday is December 17, which is next week. So around these times- holidays, anniversaries, etc...times when we were most likely to be together, I find myself feeling it. It is in this way that I feel pottery just saves me. First I get the space to have the feelings rise to the surface, while doing something I just adore, and second, I am immediately renewed because of what I am doing. AND, having worked with clay for over 4 years, I am gaining an understanding of letting things just BE because they are. Not having to DO anything with it. Which serves me greatly when I feel sadness, because I can just let it BE. It comes, it goes. Like a wave....and Eckhert Tolle taught me to really experience it....what does it feel like to be attention to those feelings.

next thing I know, I am back working on my clay. Adding a foot to my new little wavy plates. Sorry I forgot to take follow soon!


Anonymous said...

Elaine -what a raw and honest entry. Sounds like you are processing all the grief and love you have for your brother. Glad that you have an outlet to experience all that life has to offer -the whole spectrum of emotions.

Becky said...

While it saddens me to read about your tears, I understand all too well how healing they can be. And how necessary. As the previous poster said, how wonderful it is when we can find outlets for our emotions in our vocations/avocations.

Working in clay is connecting, one to one, with the Earth. We come from it. We return to it. It happens to us all.

Your new little plates look promising, by the way. I snuck a peek at them the other day. Can't wait to see what magic you will work with them.

Hope to see you this weekend sometime at ClayWorks, and hope the new job is going well.


PS: Today would have been my Dad's (the original ClayDog's) 83rd. birthday. He was about as earthy a soul as you'd ever hope to meet.